


short steps, deep breath

by QuaintImperfections



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 12:45:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9072271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuaintImperfections/pseuds/QuaintImperfections
Summary: “Why didn’t you tell me?”“I don’t know... I wanted you to meet other people, I guess. Didn’t want you to feel like you have to settle for me.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> title from laura shigihara's "everything's alright"

Finn finds it hard to breathe. He’s not suffocating, but the weight on his chest makes his fists clench, blood run through his veins hotter as he fights the urge to push away whatever’s weighing him down. He knows he’s not really in danger, but it takes him a second to remember where he is. When he does, he turns his head to the side, breathes and tries to calm his nerves down.

“Beebee,” he murmurs and there’s a soft beep before the lights come on, not too bright but enough for Finn to be able to see his surroundings. He takes in the room he and Poe have been sharing for a few weeks, now; he knows it well and he has to fight not to let out a frustrated sigh. This is his home now, and he’s safe here—as safe as one can be—and he wishes his brain could finally realise that and let go of whatever fear still haunts him.

Finn looks around again, at Poe’s desk and his shirt hanging off the back of a chair and finally, at Poe himself. He hadn’t realized he’d woken the man up when he’d called for BB-8, and he settles his hand on Poe’s shoulder.

“Finn?” Poe asks sleepily and tries to look up, but Finn raises his other hand to run his fingers through Poe’s curls.

“It’s alright. Go back to sleep,” Finn replies quietly.

“Alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. Everything’s fine.”

Poe mumbles something before he wraps around Finn. A moment later he stirs again and says, “Oh. Heavy?”

Finn wants to chuckle. While it did startle him when he woke up, now Poe’s weight on him is more comforting than anything. “No,” he replies and rubs his fingers into Poe’s scalp.

“Mm,” Poe mumbles and buries his face in Finn’s neck. “Sleep.”

“Yeah,” Finn whispers. He closes his eyes and wills his heart to not get too excited at Poe’s proximity. When he cracks an eye open, he finds that darkness has enveloped them once again. “Thanks, Beebee,” he whispers and hears another beep before he falls asleep.

  
In the morning, he wakes up to Poe looking at him, half his face hidden beneath the blanket.

“Hey,” Finn says, and Poe hums. They stay like that for a while. Finn knows that they must have at least a couple of minutes more if Poe hasn’t gotten up yet. He’s quite content for a bit, but then he notices the way Poe is biting on his lip. “What’s up?”

Poe hesitates before he tucks the blanket beneath his chin. “Did I, uh. Did I sleep on top of you last night?”

Finn chuckles. “A bit, yeah.” Poe still looks worried, so he adds, “It didn’t look like you were bothered by it. If I knew, I’d have moved away.”

“It doesn’t... Bother me,” Poe replies. “I just hope it was okay.”

“Yeah, it was,” Finn assures him. _I liked it,_ he wants to add, but now, in the light, it’s not as easy for him to pull Poe closer and snuggle. “Don’t worry about it,” he says and risks ruffling Poe’s hair. Poe chuckles and closes his eyes, shifts into the touch. “Do we have to get up?”

“In a bit,” Poe says, but he’s still relaxed into his pillow. Finn closes his eyes, as well, and drifts for a bit, his hand slipping to Poe’s jaw. His thumb idly plays with the stubble on Poe’s cheek.

“You’re hot,” Finn remarks.

Poe sounds surprised. “What?”

“Your face,” Finn says, cupping Poe’s cheek. “It’s getting warmer. You okay?”

“Oh.” Poe chuckles. “Yeah, ‘m fine.”

“Sure?”

“Mhm,” Poe replies and hums when Finn tangles his fingers in his hair again. It makes Finn smile, and want more, but in the past few hours they’ve touched more than they have in all the time they’ve known each other, and he doesn’t want to let himself get greedy.

They stay quiet and still until Poe shuffles and mumbles that it’s time to get up.

***

“Why were you up?” Poe asks him that evening. “Last night. I remember the lights were on.”

“Oh,” Finn says. “I... Wake up sometimes. Bad dreams, I guess.” Poe just looks at him and nods slowly, so Finn continues. “Beebee noticed the first time it happened and got the lights for me so I wouldn’t feel so lost. He’s been helping me ever since.”

“Has he, now.” Poe looks down at the droid with a soft smile. “I’m glad he’s been there. Has it been bad, though?” he asks, squeezing Finn’s arm.

“I... Don’t know how to answer this,” Finn admits with a chuckle. When Poe frowns, he says, “I’ll let you know if it gets _really_ bad.”

Poe huffs. “I’d be glad if you do. Don’t know how much help I’d be, though.”

“You are helping,” Finn tells him. Poe raises his eyebrows. “Really. Being close to you. It’s good,” Finn says and pulls him into a hug. Finn feels Poe smile into the crook of his neck and his heart stutters. 

“Just like you to try and comfort me when I’m trying to help you,” Poe mumbles. Finn huffs and his hand somehow finds its way to Poe’s curls again. “You like doing that, huh?”

“You like it, too,” Finn says, remembering the soft noises Poe made when Finn played with his hair earlier. Poe lets out a little laugh now. “You’re getting warm again,” Finn points out, feeling the heat on his neck.

Poe lets out a little groan, embarrassed. “That tends to happen a lot when I’m around you, buddy,” he says quietly. Finn tugs on his hair lightly, tries to look at him, but Poe just hooks his chin over Finn’s shoulder and hugs him closer.

Finn just holds him for a while. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he softly asks in the end.

“I don’t know,” Poe says. “I wanted you to meet other people, I guess. Didn’t want you to feel like you have to settle for me.”

 _Settle._ The word drops in Finn’s stomach like a stone. “Poe,” he whispers, then presses a kiss to his shoulder. He leaves one at the crook of his neck and nuzzles at the side of his jaw until Poe turns enough to let Finn kiss the corner of his lips. “Alright?” he murmurs.

Poe gives a slight, quick nod and whispers, “Please,” and meets Finn’s lips.

It’s clumsy and eager and it makes Finn’s heart want to fly out of his chest. They only break apart when they need to catch their breath and Finn notices the way Poe is clutching at him. He makes a noise and presses another kiss at Finn’s lips, then touches his forehead to Finn’s, his hands cupping Finn’s cheeks.

“I’m just glad you’re here,” Poe explains in a moment, voice trembling.

Finn squeezes him closer and kisses him again.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: [quaintfic](https://quaintfic.tumblr.com/post/155001706673/short-steps-deep-breath)


End file.
